1.
Why do Wookiees make the sounds that Wookiees make?
Also, did you know that when the fan motor starts to go on the old Toys R Us price checker things in the store it would sound like Chewie...?
- Warren S. Preston Esq
The sounds that Wookiees make are actually spoken words in the Wookiee language. Although Wookiees do not have the physical capabilities to speak other languages, they can learn them, as Chewbacca and other Wookiees understand basic (english on our planet). Other species can speak Wookiee as well, as Han Solo can speak Wookiee, although he does sound quite ridiculous when speaking the language.
Thank you for bringing the Toys R Us price checker things to our attention. I'm sure my readers appreciate the information.
2.
Should Data pursue the honorable profession of teaching Pete's Data Analysis class rather than those troublesome "adventures" in space with those freedom haters?
- Marky Mark
Data would certainly be a knowledgeable educator with his vast computing capabilities, however I believe his time is best spent going where no man (or artificial lifeform) has gone before. Data has been invaluable to his fellow crew members throughout his career.
3.
If you were a sexy lady in a horror film, would you rather A: Be murdered while completely naked, B: Barely survive but be topless, or C: Completely survive but have everyone know that you are a virgin.
- Dr. Samuel Loomis
Let us analyze these options:
A: Being murdered while completely naked has limited appeal. Not only are you dead (making it hard to come back for the inevitable sequel) but you leave nothing to the audience's imagination as far as your body goes.
B: Surviving is good, but being topless is not. Once again, it leaves little to the imagination.
C: Completely surviving and still being a virgin is my choice. I can come back for the many guaranteed sequels and demand more money for each subsequent one, and because of my virginity, I can continue to survive throughout the series.
The End. Thank you for the questions, humans. It is always a pleasure to share my knowledge with you. Until next time, keep on pondering.
Disclaimer: Although the Inanimate Ball of Wire is very wise, he is an inanimate object and therefore cannot be held responsible for any information given in this or any of it's columns. Assembly required. Get your parents permission before using any advice or data from Ask the Wire Ball. Collect them all. Each sold separately. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.